What in the Facebook Marketplace is that?

 When I was younger, I decided that it would be a good idea to use a weed whacker motor on a go-kart. 

Younger me only had a vague sense of things like displacement. My entire premise for this abomination was that our Craftsman yard tool had a motor that was vaguely shaped like a V6 engine.

My cousin Mike was the one who destroyed my childhood inspiration. 

“What, are you an idiot?” he said. “That thing has maybe two horsepower!” 

Since I’ve discovered not one, but four different videos with go-karts powered by weed whackers. There are also videos about using them for kayak power, a motorized skateboard, and a bicycle. 

This isn’t about YouTube, the wild rides of TikTok, or even my mean cousin – this is a story about Facebook Marketplace. My algorithm is evidently trained to show me the weirdest creations for sale on the platform.

Today, while looking for an original, unmolested International Harvester Scout on the Facepages and Craigslists, I was treated with a delightful post titled “My version of the Batmobile,” listed by seller Aaron Anthony Aikman for $9,000. 

It’s like someone caught a nice buzz on a proprietary blend of Testor’s model cement and gasoline, then took a big swig of a white lightning and Mountain Dew cocktail before removing his glasses to pop rivet pieces of metal together while vaguely thinking all six* Batmobiles at once. I don’t know which is better, the aircraft-inspired canopy or the trashcan rocket engines. 

“I have built it with only one seat, and [you’re] driving in the center of the vehicle!” Aikman said in the post description. “[Then] all the body panels were hand fabricated [you don’t say]. She has automated gull-wing doors that I hand fabricated.”

The eight-wheeled vehicle incorporates parts from a 1985 Oldsmobile Tornado with the iconic styling of a Sun Buggy to create a rear-engine beast. There is a yellow Batman logo emblazoned on a seat cover, presumably as a nod to Anton Furst or George Barris’s creations. They designed the vehicles for the 1980s movie and the 1960s TV show, respectively.

My rather florid description of the vehicle sounds harsh. I absolutely love this creation. My biggest gripe is that it is probably powered by a Volkswagen engine boasting 60 horsepower, which is long the powerplant of choice for custom car builders. It’s a lot of car for so little engine. 

Besides, who am I to talk about horsepower? 

I’m not tempted to buy Aikman’s creation, even though it offers a competitive value when compared to a 1989 Batmobile replica movie car listed at $349,999 sold by Clint Beyers in New Jersey. I am eyeing a basket case 1962 Morgan 4, though. I could always engine swap it for a Volkswagen powerplant, or maybe a weed whacker. 

My main question is why we let convention or societal rules stand in the way of inspiration, be it youthful enthusiasm or the lifelong dream of a skilled technician. Stay weird, Marketplace, I’m here for it. Also, $%&@ you, Cousin Mike. 

*For the purposes of this article, I only referenced TV and movie Batmobiles. There are many more in the comics. In 1939, in Detective Comics #27, Batman’s crimefighting whip was a red, ordinary-looking, period-correct car.